Where’ve you been?

Where have I been? Where have you been?

Truth is that I got a little bored with writing for an audience of approximately no one (I know, I know; I’m getting into self-publishing, I should get used to it).

I wondered what would happen if I left it alone for a week or so. And that got me thinking: maybe I should stop writing the blog for a while, too.

What happened was this: zip. No people stumbling across old posts, delighted at what they found. No new ‘followers,’ no ‘likes.’

So here’s a new experiment – what happens if you don’t blog for a week, and then you do?

I can hardly wait to find out, but I think I have a pretty good guess.

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One nil to the Arsenal

Gavin E Parker, looking comfortable and relaxed in a retro Arsenal top at the Emirates Stadium

Gavin E Parker, looking comfortable and relaxed in a retro Arsenal top at the Emirates Stadium

Just got back from the Emirates. Here’s my match report:

Arsenal won.

What, am I a sports correspondent now?

Pretty grim weather-wise. Realised shortly after we set off that it was going to be even colder than a standard English Summer rainy day. I was only wearing a T-shirt (okay, and trousers, pants, socks and the rest). In the end I had to buy a massively overpriced long-sleeved T-shirt in the Arsenal shop in order to avoid being cold and miserable. Well, to avoid being cold, anyway; it would take more than a T-shirt to stop me being miserable.

It felt very weird donning Arsenal garb at the stadium. I felt self-conscious, like it would make me stand out where, of course, if anything it would make me blend in. I guess I had a low-level fear that a stranger would grab me and ask me obscure questions about 1992/1993 squad or somesuch. Once I had failed that test the shirt would be unceremoniously ripped from my back in front of a laughing crowd. But that didn’t happen, so win for me.

All in all a fun day out, and we avoided the rain, too.

Still no comment

Just another quick one:

It’s coming up for two weeks, and still no one has commented on any of my posts. Now, I realise that no one is reading my posts, but is that really any excuse? I mean, ask yourselves; really?

I have a couple of followers now who, I presume like me, have just followed a few random people in the hope of getting followed back. When they get a notification, ‘Gavin E Parker has done a blog-poo. Again,’ they probably pay as much attention as I do when I get one for them.

I guess what I’m saying is that the followers aren’t following, in any meaningful sense, and the ‘views’ I get (suspiciously, they come very soon after new posts, and according to WordPress statistics are from search engine referrals) are probably from bots or the like.

So, if you’re out there and are a real person, please just add a comment. Even just a single word. Even just a single letter.

Let’s go to the football

A break from writing and proofing today. I’m taking the kids to the football, Arsenal vs Wolfsburg at the Emirates.

We’re not big football fans but we do have a vague interest in Arsenal. My dad was a big fan, and there are historic connections between Arsenal and Margate, our hometown.

The Emirates Cup is looked down on by the hardcore fans. It’s a silly preseason micro-tournament of no import whatsoever, but that’s what we like about it. There’s a carnival atmosphere and it makes for a fun day out.

The only time we’ve been when the vibe was anything other than chilled and fun was in 2013 when Arsenal were beaten 1-2 by Galatasaray. It was fine in the stadium but after, when we were queuing for the tube station, the Galatasaray fans were marched passed us with a mounted police escort, ensuring they had no access to us. They were chanting ‘We are best of Arsenal’ and looking anything but friendly. It did occur to me to lead a chant in retort, ‘We are best of grammar,’ but in the interest of public order I let it go.

Let’s do lunch

I just wrote about six hundred words of utter drivel. Yes, even worse than the stuff I actually post.

With great relief I deleted all of that.

Instead, I’ll let you know what I’m having for lunch. Two slices of cold pizza. Sweet Chilli Chicken and Deep-pan Margherita.

I think I’ll go for a cup of coffee in a minute.

No comment

We’re about a week into this adventure and so far I’ve had one like and one follow. How about a comment?

Is it too ambitious to aim for a record breaking fifteen plus visitors and a comment on the same day?

Heck, what am I doing in this game if I’m not prepared for my reach exceed my grasp?

Go on, internet. Comment.